Mary Had a Cloned Lamb

Mary had a little lamb, its fleece was slightly grey,
   It didn't have a father, just some borrowed DNA.

   It sort of had a mother, though the ovum was on loan,
   It was not so much a lambkin, as a little lamby clone.

   And soon it had a fellow clone, and soon it had some more,
   They followed her to school one day, all cramming through the door.

   It made the children laugh and sing, the teachers found it droll,
   There were too many lamby clones, for Mary to control.

   No other could control the sheep, since their programs didn't vary,
   So the scientists resolved it all, by simply cloning Mary.

   But now they feel quite sheepish, those scientists unwary,
   One problem solved, but what to do, with Mary, Mary, Mary...

Ban Dihydrogen Monoxide!

Dihydrogen monoxide is colorless, odorless, tasteless, and kills
uncounted thousands of people every year. Most of these deaths are
caused by accidental inhalation of DHMO, but the dangers of dihydrogen
monoxide do not end there. Prolonged exposure to its solid form causes
severe tissue damage. Symptoms of DHMO ingestion can include excessive
sweating and urination, and possibly a bloated feeling, nausea, vomiting
and body electrolyte imbalance. For those who have become dependent,
DHMO withdrawal means certain death.

Dihydrogen monoxide:

  * is also known as hydroxl acid, and is the major component of acid
    rain.
  * contributes to the "greenhouse effect."
  * may cause severe burns.
  * contributes to the erosion of our natural landscape.
  * accelerates corrosion and rusting of many metals.
  * may cause electrical failures and decreased effectiveness of
    automobile brakes.
  * has been found in excised tumors of terminal cancer patients.

Contamination Is Reaching Epidemic Proportions!

Quantities of dihydrogen monoxide have been found in almost every
stream, lake, and reservoir in America today. But the pollution is
global, and the contaminant has even been found in Antarctic ice. DHMO
has caused millions of dollars of property damage in the midwest, and
recently California.

Despite the danger, dihydrogen monoxide is often used:

  * as an industrial solvent and coolant.
  * in nuclear power plants.
  * in the production of styrofoam.
  * as a fire retardant.
  * in many forms of cruel animal research.
  * in the distribution of pesticides. Even after washing, produce
    remains contaminated by this chemical.
  * as an additive in certain "junk-foods" and other food products.

Companies dump waste DHMO into rivers and the ocean, and nothing can be
done to stop them because this practice is still legal. The impact on
wildlife is extreme, and we cannot afford to ignore it any longer!

The Horror Must Be Stopped!

The American government has refused to ban the production, distribution,
or use of this damaging chemical due to its "importance to the economic
health of this nation." In fact, the navy and other military
organizations are conducting experiments with DHMO, and designing
multi-billion dollar devices to control and utilize it during warfare
situations. Hundreds of military research facilities receive tons of it
through a highly sophisticated underground distribution network. Many
store large quantities for later use.

                            It's Not Too Late!

Act NOW to prevent further contamination. Find out more about this
dangerous chemical. What you don't know can hurt you and others
throughout the world.

DNA Personal Ads

I've been single-stranded too long! Lonely ATGCATG would like to pair up with
congenial TACGTAC.

Menage a trois! Ligand seeks two receptors into binding and mutual
phosphorylation. Let's get together and transduce some signals.

Some dates have called me a promotor. Others have referred to me as a real
operator. Personally, I think I'm just a cute piece of DNA who is still
looking for that special transcription factor to help me unwind.

Highly sensitive, orally active small molecule seeks stable well-structured
receptor who knows size isn't everything.

There must be a rational way to meet a date! I'm tired of hanging out in
those molecular diversity bars, hoping to randomly bump into the right
peptide. I want a molecule that will fit right into my active site and really
turn me on. I'll send you my crystal structure if you send me yours!

Gene therapy graduate. After years of producing nothing but gibberish, I've
shed my introns and am ready to express my exons. All I need is a cute vector
to introduce me to the right host.

My RNA, I'm sorry I misread your UAAUAAUAA and inserted three tyrosines when
you repeatedly asked me to stop. Something got lost in the translation.
Please forgive me.

Naked DNA with sticky ends seeks kanamycin-resistant plasmid. EcoR1 sites
preferred.

Uninhibited virus seeks reason to make me shed my coat protein.

This very selective oliogonucleotide has been probing for just the right
target for long term hybridization.

Mature cell seeks same who still enjoys cycling and won't go apoptotic on me.
Let's fight senescence together!

I'm a prolific progenitor with great potential for growth and self-renewal.
Call me if you're a potent hematopoietic factor who still believes in endless
nights of colony stimulation.

I don't always express myself on the surface, but I'm looking for a signal
that you appreciate my complexity. Send me the right message that will
penetrate my membranes, turn on my protein expression and release my
potential energy.